"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

I've kind of always had a plan. Or at least a general life-outline.

Work.

Go to college.
Graduate.
Get a job.
Move out of Utah County.

So I had a pretty basic 5-year plan when I started college, it made life a bit easier for me if it was set out in front of me. My decisions were made, now this is what I had to do. I always had a vision, an end goal.

 If you know me at all, I tend to be a planner. I like knowing what's going to happen next or having something to work towards. Once I've checked off one thing, I move to the next.

See, I never added anything to that plan after graduating college. School was my biggest obstacle, my biggest focus, and it was hard to see anything past that for 5 years. After I graduated, I focused most of my time and energy on finding a job. What good was that degree I worked so hard on getting if I didn't do anything with it?

I finally found a job and put all my time and effort into that. I moved out of Utah County and settled into that part of my life plan.

Lately, I've been like, "well, now what?" 

I realized I have no plan.

Nothing.

I mean, I have these long term dreams that I might work towards one day, like moving out of Utah, but that is in the far distant future.

I don't have a 5 year plan.

I don't even have a 1 year plan.

The most I've got so far is that I'll probably teach at the school I'm at for around 5 years, or at least I hope so.

Right now, nothing is certain in my future. 

It used to be that if I did what I was supposed to, I would graduate college.  That was guaranteed. 

Now, I have absolutely no idea what to plan for or do.

The possibilities are endless, really. Which is both liberating and absolutely terrifying.

The only thing tying me down to anything is my job.  Everything else is up in the air.

But maybe I don't have to have a plan. Maybe I'll just have to live life and make it up as I go and just hope for the best.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"There are so many adventures you miss because you're waiting to think of a plan..." 

lately...

October was a busy month. A fun month, but a busy one.
Halloween is my favorite holiday, and there were plenty of Halloween festivities this year.  The only thing I failed at was never watching Hocus Pocus.  I know, how horrible of me.

I also went to my future home, Eugene, Oregon. I didn't take a lot of pictures, but trust me when I say it is absolutely gorgeous. One of my favorite places I've ever been.

Eugene, OR//2013

>>new friend, Sarah, & best friend Sam<<

Halloween fun

|costume #1: flapper girl|

|costume #2: Batman/woman|

Birthday Celebrations

 >>Happy Birthday to this beautiful lady<<

>>frouples unite<<

To finish out October, my car, Penelope, had some struggles and died last weekend. It was a very sad occasion. She has got me where I need to go for the last 5 years.  We've had many trips to St. George & Las Vegas. She also took us to California and back. I'm pretty sure there is still sand wedged in strange places in that car from that trip. My sweet Penelope, you will be missed. 

It seems that my life has decided to fully change and embrace this new chapter, so it was inevitable that my car would go too.  So along with moving to Salt Lake and starting a career, lets add "getting a big girl car" to that list too. (So not looking forward to car payments).

So here is my new baby, she hasn't been named yet, although I think I'm leaning towards calling her Betty White.

Autumn.

After the week I had, it was really nice to have a pretty chill weekend.
I had a lovely night with best friends on Friday.
I spent some time with family Saturday night and all day today.

I also went for a little hike up one of my favorite canyons. It is probably my favorite place to go during fall.  It's so absolutely beautiful.
I can't help but feel some peace when I'm out in nature, especially during my favorite time of year.

Dear Winter, 

Please be kind and don't skip Fall.  I really need it.  I swear I won't complain when you finally come.

Thank you,

Chelsey.

following your dreams is hard.

My best friend of 10 years lives in another state.  We go months, literally months, with out talking.  When we do contact each other, whether its been 2 weeks or 4 months, it feels like nothing has changed.
Like we are still 14 years old, listening to The Killers in our bedroom or watching Moulin Rouge on a Friday night.
Like we still live blocks, not states, away from each other.
Even though we haven't seen each other in over a year, it'll only feel like it's been a few days when I go to visit her next week.

I guess that's how I always thought growing up would be like.

I could move away and have this new, somewhat different life, but things would still be the same. I'd still be the same.

I guess I never anticipated how much things could change.  How even living an hour away from my hometown could be such a big change.

I feel like I'm caught between my childhood and adulthood.  I didn't think that it could feel weird to go back and visit my hometown and have it not necessarily feel like it's where I would call "home" anymore.  But I don't feel like where I am now is necessarily my "home" either.

I didn't think that moving away like I always wanted to and starting a career would make my past feel like this other part of me or that relationships would change or that I would change.

I didn't know I could feel so off-balance and out of place, but also feel so completely free and independent.

Maybe growing up is not necessarily letting your childhood go, maybe it's just knowing that it will always be a part of you and can still be a part of your life, but still allowing yourself to become the person you want to be. Allowing yourself to be who you really are, not someone else's idea of who you are or should be.

Maybe it's just accepting when you make a big change like a move or a career, that a lot of other things are going to change too. And somehow you've just got to find a way to be content with it all.

And realizing that not having all the answers is how it's supposed to be, no matter how hard it is.

Blogging? Ain't nobody got time for that

About once a month I remember, hey I have a blog. It's usually in that random amount of time I have to actually browse Pinterest and Tumblr for more than 15 minutes.

I usually always have something to say about teaching (seeing as how it takes up about 85% of my life) but today I will just leave it to this:

(although I wouldn't call it "problem")

I kid, I kid.  At some point everyday I do love my job.  These are just funny... because they are true.

In other good news, it's freakin' October! My most favorite month ever.  I love fall weather and fall clothes and fall colors.  The world is so pretty in October.  All of the trees changing colors before they die.... and winter comes.... and I slip into a sad, winter depression.... 

Oh, yeah! October! Halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, also happens to be in this glorious month. I've been planning my Halloween costume since November 1. 

October (and some of September) is also when the best TV shows start again. Like Vampire Diaries (I've missed you, Damon), and New Girl. hashtagNick&Jess4ever.

Speaking of New Girl, I recently rewatched the entire 2nd season. 

Let me tell you, Netflix is the greatest thing to have on while grading endless amounts of homework.

New Girl is not only HILARIOUS and super weird in the best possible way, it also has so much wisdom. Seriously. I've learned a lot from it, besides that Nick Miller is the love of my life.

I learned that you should never apologize for being your weird-ass, sing-a-lot, childish self.

Never back-slide (exes are exes for a reason).

You can be a teacher and still go to the bar on the weekends. We are regular people too.

You can be 30 and have no idea what the hell you are doing with your life (but you better figure that shit out quick).

You can also be 30 and single, so suck it, Utah.

Men point their feet to what they want.

The youths will ruin your car.

You can't ever be friends with benefits with out someone wanting more. It's a fact.

If you feel sabotaged by your baby-box, you can't trust anything that comes out of it (why I won't have children).

And, you know, everything on this...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/fox/18-life-lessons-we-learned-from-watching-new-girl-7juf

This was sufficiently pointless, have a good day.

Music Monday

So, I've officially started the third week of teaching. I've officially had a real meltdown (along with about 10 little ones). I've officially reconsidered my career choice (for like 5 minutes every other day). Kids are tough, man.
So here's some music to make everyone, especially me, feel a little bit better on an absolutely overwhelming Monday.


Kodaline- "All I Want"

P.S. I really do love my job

as of late...

There's been lots going on in the last couple weeks! I spent most of last week moving from Provo back to my parent's house for a couple of weeks. It's nice to be with my family for a bit, but I definitely miss having my own space!

A couple weeks ago the Twilight Concert Series started up again. It's seriously my favorite thing about summer and this year the lineup is AMAZING. So far I've seen Belle & Sebastian and Blitzen Trapper. Last week was seriously the highlight of my summer... and maybe my life. One of, if not my favorite bands came last Thursday. The National! Let me tell you, it was absolutely amazing. Never have I cried during a concert.

|partial group photo//love these babes|

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 |The National doin' their thang. It was perfection|

Along with all that excitement. There is one very important, wonderful, exciting thing that happened to me last week....

I got hired as a 5th grade teacher for the upcoming school year! Finally! After all those interviews and applications I had all but given up. I start in a couple weeks so its been a bit overwhelming trying to prepare, but I am so excited! I'll be starting my career and moving to Salt Lake in a couple weeks. There will be big changes, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter of my life.