following your dreams is hard.

My best friend of 10 years lives in another state.  We go months, literally months, with out talking.  When we do contact each other, whether its been 2 weeks or 4 months, it feels like nothing has changed.
Like we are still 14 years old, listening to The Killers in our bedroom or watching Moulin Rouge on a Friday night.
Like we still live blocks, not states, away from each other.
Even though we haven't seen each other in over a year, it'll only feel like it's been a few days when I go to visit her next week.

I guess that's how I always thought growing up would be like.

I could move away and have this new, somewhat different life, but things would still be the same. I'd still be the same.

I guess I never anticipated how much things could change.  How even living an hour away from my hometown could be such a big change.

I feel like I'm caught between my childhood and adulthood.  I didn't think that it could feel weird to go back and visit my hometown and have it not necessarily feel like it's where I would call "home" anymore.  But I don't feel like where I am now is necessarily my "home" either.

I didn't think that moving away like I always wanted to and starting a career would make my past feel like this other part of me or that relationships would change or that I would change.

I didn't know I could feel so off-balance and out of place, but also feel so completely free and independent.

Maybe growing up is not necessarily letting your childhood go, maybe it's just knowing that it will always be a part of you and can still be a part of your life, but still allowing yourself to become the person you want to be. Allowing yourself to be who you really are, not someone else's idea of who you are or should be.

Maybe it's just accepting when you make a big change like a move or a career, that a lot of other things are going to change too. And somehow you've just got to find a way to be content with it all.

And realizing that not having all the answers is how it's supposed to be, no matter how hard it is.

Blogging? Ain't nobody got time for that

About once a month I remember, hey I have a blog. It's usually in that random amount of time I have to actually browse Pinterest and Tumblr for more than 15 minutes.

I usually always have something to say about teaching (seeing as how it takes up about 85% of my life) but today I will just leave it to this:

(although I wouldn't call it "problem")

I kid, I kid.  At some point everyday I do love my job.  These are just funny... because they are true.

In other good news, it's freakin' October! My most favorite month ever.  I love fall weather and fall clothes and fall colors.  The world is so pretty in October.  All of the trees changing colors before they die.... and winter comes.... and I slip into a sad, winter depression.... 

Oh, yeah! October! Halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, also happens to be in this glorious month. I've been planning my Halloween costume since November 1. 

October (and some of September) is also when the best TV shows start again. Like Vampire Diaries (I've missed you, Damon), and New Girl. hashtagNick&Jess4ever.

Speaking of New Girl, I recently rewatched the entire 2nd season. 

Let me tell you, Netflix is the greatest thing to have on while grading endless amounts of homework.

New Girl is not only HILARIOUS and super weird in the best possible way, it also has so much wisdom. Seriously. I've learned a lot from it, besides that Nick Miller is the love of my life.

I learned that you should never apologize for being your weird-ass, sing-a-lot, childish self.

Never back-slide (exes are exes for a reason).

You can be a teacher and still go to the bar on the weekends. We are regular people too.

You can be 30 and have no idea what the hell you are doing with your life (but you better figure that shit out quick).

You can also be 30 and single, so suck it, Utah.

Men point their feet to what they want.

The youths will ruin your car.

You can't ever be friends with benefits with out someone wanting more. It's a fact.

If you feel sabotaged by your baby-box, you can't trust anything that comes out of it (why I won't have children).

And, you know, everything on this...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/fox/18-life-lessons-we-learned-from-watching-new-girl-7juf

This was sufficiently pointless, have a good day.

Music Monday

So, I've officially started the third week of teaching. I've officially had a real meltdown (along with about 10 little ones). I've officially reconsidered my career choice (for like 5 minutes every other day). Kids are tough, man.
So here's some music to make everyone, especially me, feel a little bit better on an absolutely overwhelming Monday.


Kodaline- "All I Want"

P.S. I really do love my job

as of late...

There's been lots going on in the last couple weeks! I spent most of last week moving from Provo back to my parent's house for a couple of weeks. It's nice to be with my family for a bit, but I definitely miss having my own space!

A couple weeks ago the Twilight Concert Series started up again. It's seriously my favorite thing about summer and this year the lineup is AMAZING. So far I've seen Belle & Sebastian and Blitzen Trapper. Last week was seriously the highlight of my summer... and maybe my life. One of, if not my favorite bands came last Thursday. The National! Let me tell you, it was absolutely amazing. Never have I cried during a concert.

|partial group photo//love these babes|

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 |The National doin' their thang. It was perfection|

Along with all that excitement. There is one very important, wonderful, exciting thing that happened to me last week....

I got hired as a 5th grade teacher for the upcoming school year! Finally! After all those interviews and applications I had all but given up. I start in a couple weeks so its been a bit overwhelming trying to prepare, but I am so excited! I'll be starting my career and moving to Salt Lake in a couple weeks. There will be big changes, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter of my life.

Music Monday

So, technically it's Tuesday since it's 12:23 a.m. But it doesn't count if I haven't gone to bed yet, so it's still Monday. Anyway, some music that I've been listening to a lot this week is the lovely tunes of Gregory Alan Isakov. He's just a lovely lad, with a lovely voice. It's definitely some really chill music, and a little more on the folk side... but it's the kind that touches your soul a little bit. He is also coming to the SLC in September! So there's a lovely concert that I look forward to.

Enjoy :)

A week in instagram photo's

I know that you all would love to read a 1,000 word summary on the goings on around here and 4th of July celebrations, I believe pictures really just do it better. 

• Last week we went up to Salt Lake to celebrate our dear friend, Kristen's birthday. She's such a lovely lady. I'm even more excited to move to Salt Lake now knowing that we have friends up there :)

• Trips up the canyon.

• I had a lovely 4th of July. Spent some time with family, had a barbecue, and celebrated with friends.

• Bike & long board rides through Provo.

• And more job interviews. I am so sick of them, can someone please hire me already?

Music Monday

So, I listen to really good music. And I love sharing music too. So, I'm going to share some of my favorite bands and songs every once in a while. It may be a new discovery or an old love. Whatever it is, it'll be good.

One band that I discovered a bit ago and developed an obsession with is Daughter. Seriously amazing. The singer, Elena Tonra, is not only insanely talented, but she is seriously the most adorable thing on the planet. I was able to see Daughter in concert a month or two ago and it was absolutely phenomenal. Their music has this haunting feel to it, along with wonderful lyrics. You just have to listen.
Enjoy.